Perfect Distraction

You are like a red color in my light blue sky. Simply my perfect distraction.

The Weak and The Strong

Some of them said Your Love is only for the weak.
Well, if it is make me strong, then I don’t mind being one.

Then who is stronger than the one who can overcome their own weaknesses?
Admit to have one might be one of the most challenging task in every human life
Face it and embrace it without the need to be better than anyone else
or to be well-stand out without making others less worth is another home work
Arrogance and worthless is always an easy way out, while wisdom is to find something in between.

All people have their rights to say their own source of wisdom. Then I also have the rights to say that my source of wisdom is Your Love, the Ones that transform the impossible to possibility, the Ones that change weaknesses to the source of strength.

‘You’ve got to find what you love,’ Jobs says

This is a prepared text of the Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960′s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

Love: redefined

Love in certain moment of a relationship can be defined as:

The willingness to understand, the give of trust, and the art of gratitude

5 Years…

I saw that we are rotten.. In such a young age, you said. We are changing and we are sinking. 5 years, is all it takes to make everything fade away. Yes, everything that we once had. You’re looking back far far away..

I believe you that night. I believe you that we are falling, to the place that none of us want to be. A day, a week, a month.. I’m looking still, to things that I thought were gone. To things that we feel it lost.

Then one day, I decided to look around, guess what I’d seen.. every relationship feels like rotten in certain stage. It is not just you and me, I think the Universe has its own way to say it is time to move on. It is time to grow.

Step by step I saw things differently. It is funny how world can turn differently just by changing our perspective, how we discern certain things. I’m starting to see clearly the wrong turns, the irresponsible choices and all the false magical beliefs.

To be in this stage, there’s no turning back; to grow or to fall. What I know for certain is I will give love another chance. It is a long journey to get here, and it still take a little efforts to get where we want to be.

I’ll take the risk hun, to put myself in one of the most fragile position, to fall in love.. again. To choose trust over suspicious mind, to choose happiness over self-defense, To take every responsibility in success or failure.. To open myself of the possibility of getting hurt, at the same time to give love the chance to grow

… contemplate …

Learning to not listen. Learning to see, to hear beyond.. beyond anger, beyond the unacceptable behaviors

Knowing there are things that NECESSARY, ESSENTIAL and others might less important, and make judgment based on only the ESSENTIALs

Knowing that we can reply all the mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood with respect and compassion. We can reply the suspicious mind with a smile

Knowing that the most important things are not NOT MAKING MISTAKES, but how we behave afterwards

Knowing that what we should fear is not the hard times, but whether or not we will choose to still BELIEVE in ourselves when things get rough. Whether or not we still have HOPE and FAITH in everything we trust

Knowing that life might not getting any easier, but as the GRE books said, when things get rough, that only means you’re doing well in the easy task :)

Knowing that despite all the problems, all the hustle and bustle of life, we can always choose happiness and fun. (Check the book of Awesome for the simplest inspiration). Gratitude is the only thing that we need. Always be grateful and always do some fun!

Knowing that in order to be able to do something, at first we always in the position of know nothing or can not do anything. Just practice, just learn, just try! and always .. always be kind to yourself

Learning to take responsibility of my own faith, and to be aware of every efforts, to appreciate, to give complement.. knowing that self confidence are built upon self-reliance and self-appreciation

 

Sunglasses

Eyes can’t lie

 That’s why God creates sunglasses

The Edge

Fainted and losing grip

Who am I? What am I?

“What happened?”, I whispered to myself scaredly

“You found your edge”, a deep voice respond calmly

My edge.. I shake my head a bit to regain my consciousness

But my vision is all still blurred and my mind is failed to reconcile

“Be calm”, said the deep voice. “None, ever destined to know me or even see me. You already cross the limit”.

“Who are you?”, I said.

“That is not the right question”, said the deep voice. “It is not important for you to know who I am. It is more important to seek what makes you here”

I shook my head once again but knowing that it ends in vain. None feels clear. It is like I get stuck in anywhere but nowhere.

“Do not fight against it, or you just lost what you still have”

I finally nod, knowing that it is worthless to put a fight, and somehow I feel the deep voice is try to do no harm nor good. He just there.

“What is this place”, I ask.

“This is the place in between, the place for the ones who meet The Edge”

“What happened to me?”, I replied

“You meet yours, and you failed to win. Be prepared.”

“For what?” I asked. In a sudden, thoughts flooded on my head. I hear my own voice in many version. The ones that is angry, the ones that is hoping for mercy, the once that has nothing.

“You do the right thing”, said the my calm voice. “No you’re not. You’re doing for your own good. You’re taking advantage from everyone who trust in you, force them to do the battle they are not wanted”, said others mockingly. “You are despicable, you use others whom you know weaker. Make them feel bad about themselves and surrender their soul to you. You are the replicate of the dragon in the angel form. Deceiving everyone.” said the angry voice. “But you know whom who can not escape, yourself. Hahaha.” the evil voice of me appear. “No, please don’t say that. I do everything I could for this not to happened. For none can be hurt. For protecting the one we love and fight for what we all believe in. Please.. do not say that.” I can hear myself crying.

“Stoppp. Stopp. Please stop this thing off. Please get them out of my head”. I felt I shout so loud so I hope it is louder than all those voices.

As I regain my consciousness, everything back like before. I found myself could not think, see and hear anything clearly.

“That is why you here”

“The Edge did that to me?” I ask.

“Yes”, the deep voice replied.

“How can I not see that coming?”

Slowly I remember the poems that often read to me when I was a little

Beware, of the creepy voices

the little ones who speak none than doubts and fear

the ones that makes all the lines disappear

Those who forcefully change the directions

or make the eyes see nowhere to go

what is right will be seen wrong

and the heart is seen a lie

Have a trust for all along

and you’ll see the path  will lay

-to be continued-

Rejection

Rejection.. for something you’re not even wanted

For something you even very prepared

Still put a mark clear

Giving the chance for all the Ghosts and Shadows instantly appear

Whispering things that you might should not hear

Lost.. Fall.. Fear..

Faith.. Raise.. Flee..

It works as a secret recipe

For ones to give the effort more

to learn to appreciate ones-self for things much more fundamental

to dig deeper

to run faster

to climb higher

to see things clearer

to explore wider; to open the doors of so many other possibilities

opportunity of become greater

 

Magically, at the same time

keep the foot to the ground

learning to bow

to accept others might better

and seek for any room to improve

It’s a secret path to wisdom that many might just choose not to follow

learning experience that some choose to ignore

and myself choose to avoid, but “luckily” they often inevitable

Speak to myself to seize the day

and wishing for making the foe a friend through all the way

 

Love Life,

Ra

Dream and Gone

I want to take the road less traveled..

But have anybody told you, that the silence sometimes make you feel you’re no longer exist

I want to live my dream..

But again have anybody told you, that dreams are something impossible, that you put yourself in the borderline of insanity

the cast is spelled and there’s no way back

You whispered in my ear…

“to be something is to experience everything, just take the leap”

With all the doubts I choose to believe

and pray for You to always hold my hands and wait with me in this moment of nothing

 

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